Long-distance relationships

Ahh long distance. I don’t consider myself by far an expert on this topic as there isn’t really much of a guideline when it comes to people varying emotions and personality traits. However, as it’s something I’ve been experiencing for the past 7 months, I thought it might just be worth sharing.

Richard and I have been together for nearly two and a half years, within that time we’ve had a fair few “distance” hurdles to jump. To give you a little bit of a backstory, we met on my very first week of university whilst I was a “fresher” and he was in his final year. That first year was great. We were both in Brighton and could see each other pretty much any day, at any time.

Start of long distance going into second year

Rich graduated that summer and moved back home whilst I was still in Brighton for my second year. This is what I like to call the “tester year”. Essentially we would see each other on weekends or every other weekend at most.

Long distance during my second year

Fast forward to this year, we’re in completely different countries. We go anywhere from 5 weeks to 9 weeks apart. Italy isn’t renowned for its phone signal and I’ve got no Wi-Fi in my apartment. This means that Facetime is pretty much out of the question due to how much data that would cost me. So, with that in mind, I’ve compiled a mini list of tips that get me through it.

Long distance during my third year

5 tips for long-distance relationships:

1 – It doesn’t get much easier (sorry, I went straight in at the deep end). Every time you have to leave them it hurts like a MoFo and that’s not gonna change. But, rest assure, the dust will settle. You’ll get back into your normal life routine and you’ll accept that this is just the situation right now. Somehow that makes it easier.

2 – Feel all the feels. You’re not always going to feel like sunshine and rainbows. There will be days when this whole situation just sucks and that’s ok. Be sad, wallow for a bit, watch a sad movie just as an excuse to cry (trust me, I won’t judge), because what you’re feeling is just a big ol’ negative feeling that’ll pass.

3 – In every “how to survive a LD guide” it always says something along the lines of “look forward to the days when you get to see each other again”. And yes, while it is better to have something to look towards, but there will be times when that day still seems so far away. When this is the case, it can actually be really disheartening. That’s when you really have to take every day as it comes. Before you know it time would’ve flown by.

4 – Talk as much as you can. Try not to become obsessed of how little you might think you may be talking. Also, don’t try to maintain a fixed schedule. People get busy, it’s healthy to be doing your own thing. Also having a fixed schedule could end up in a half-arsed conversations. What’s worse is you could hinder whatever you/they could be experiencing whilst you’re/they’re away. At the end of the day you’ll always manage to find time when you’re committed to it.

5 – If you have a hyperactive brain (hi), LD can be a rollercoaster of emotions. It can sometimes make you feel like you’re going (just a little) bat shit cray. I’ve come up with a handy little anagram of important things to establish before doing the long-distance loop de loop – Trust, Love, Communication (TLC, d’you get it?).

So there you have it, my thoughts and feels on LD. If all else fails someone’s always got it worse than you (see, this is why I’m in no way an expert).

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3 Comments

  1. Gemma
    March 14, 2018 / 4:42 pm

    I love this! So proud of you x

  2. August 9, 2018 / 5:53 pm

    I was in a long distance relationship with my now husband for about 2.5 years, and it definitely had it’s challenges. I think the hardest part aside from not being together was sometimes being so out of synch.

    But now that seems so long ago, and getting to be together all of the time is so great. I feel like because we were able to survive the distance, it prepared us so much more for being together full time, can tackle anything.

    Great post and great tips. Hang in there!

    • hayleywickens
      Author
      August 11, 2018 / 4:26 pm

      Oh wow, 2.5 years is so long! It for sure has its challenges but it’s so worth it! Thank you so much for your comment! 🙂

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